Last week before I left town, The New York Blade
published an editorial I found particularly
offensive and I was movitated to write a rebuttal. When
I returned to NYC I was surprised to find The
Blade had graciously published my response. What
follows are the original editorial and my letter
as it was published the following week. Feel
free to join the debate.
P.S. Look for the cover story I wrote for
Next magazine coming to newsstands November 18th! xo
-dj
this the editorial that made me nuts:
Keep your pants on, people
There’s a time and place for public sex,
but it’s not on the streets of Provincetown,
and it rarely involves assless chaps
By Mickey Weems
Friday, October 21, 2005
While on the road, I pulled into a rest stop with no bathrooms. A young man had left his car and was walking to the nearby woods, presumably to pee. Not a bad idea, I thought, so I joined him. As I was leaving the woods, I noticed him watching me intently. Intrigued, I stopped to chat, enjoying the tension that such moments bring. Finally he asked, “Are you into anything?”
"Sure,” I replied. “What are you into?”
“I want you to grab my butt while I beat off.”
More amused than turned on, I agreed. During our 15 minutes of mutual pleasuring (such as it were), both of us constantly watched the parking lot to make sure that our actions were not observed. It wasn’t fear of arrest that kept us on the alert. It was common courtesy. This was a sex act done in a public place. Yet, there was no public to be offended by it. It was appropriate public sex.
There are some forms of public sex, however, that I believe are wrong. I condemn the actions of those who have sex in a public place while in the presence of a public that might take offense. I find myself sympathizing with those Christian bigots who claim that God sent Katrina to New Orleans because of the annual gay Labor Day sex-a-thon, Southern Decadence. Let me make this clear: I do not think God sent the storm because of gays any more than I think it was sent to punish poor Christian Black folk or to graphically illustrate our president’s ineptitude.
Nevertheless, Christian Fundamentalist extremists who condemn Southern Decadence for encouraging public sex in front of God and everybody have a point. Gay men fucking and sucking in the streets of New Orleans is not just wrong, but inexcusably tacky. I don’t find it liberating when our own behave with such complete disregard for the feelings of our fellows. To me, it is the same kind of disgraceful behavior as “Reverend” Phelps when he goes to gay funerals and publicly declares the deceased are damned to hell.
The same goes for those guys who insist upon wearing chaps showing their naked butts in places such as the streets of Provincetown, Mass. This has, in fact, caused unnecessary friction in P-Town, a tiny place with a permanent population of only a few thousand. A little respect for the locals, straight and gay, is not too much to ask, even from intoxicated tourists who wield the almighty dollar. (It doesn’t help that those who show their asses are the ones who really shouldn’t.) Turning out the other cheeks at Pride parades across the nation is equally inappropriate. It may be our parade, but the streets still belong to everyone. Save it for the clubs.
There are plenty of public places where one can have sex (and show one’s butt) without offending the public. The Meat Rack on Fire Island has a tradition as a sexual playground that stretches back decades. New York’s Black Party and Chicago’s IML cater to a public that relishes the orgiastic. Those who would take offense don’t attend these functions. Even at the most sexually promiscuous events, there is usually a sense of propriety. When I went to the Black Party in 2002, it was permissible to have sex pretty much everywhere in the venue except for the bathroom stalls. With several thousand participants, it was important to keep the stalls open for their original purpose.What about those who get a rush from the risk of getting caught without the intention of offending? The least they can do is limit themselves to places where the public would not be that offended if they get caught. That’s why God made gay bars, gay gyms and Folsom Street Fair.
We should not allow the wonderful tolerance we possess as a community to be misused by the blatantly lewd ones among us. They get off by being offensive for no good reason. They do us no favors, not in New Orleans, not anywhere, when they offend those who might otherwise be our allies. Did God send Katrina because of Southern Decadence? It doesn’t matter if She did. Propriety, not punishment, should dictate how we carry ourselves in public.
My response to this editorial follows:
I Like My Pants On The Floor
by Dean Johnson (published 10/28/05)
While I'm normally
thrilled to see naked people in public (especially
if they're having sex), I am, nonetheless, relieved
to know that none of them will be that asshole
Mickey Weems who wrote the editorial berating
gay people who behave sexually in public
places.
The article made me sick
to my stomach as it proves the Spanish Inquisition
is still doing its job 500 years after it ended. In
most pagan religions, gays and lesbians were
spiritual leaders and sex rituals were inherent
elements of Earth religions. In a desperate
attempt to win over the hearts and purse-strings
of happy pagans, the Catholic church stigmatized
public sex and nudity and burned five million
people at the stake, mostly women and gay men. We're
still called "faggots" today as a reference
to the sticks used to start the fires. When
your writer tells me I should behave in away
that doesn't offend the Judeo-Christian
taboos on open sexuality, he's asking me to reinforce
the same false code of ethics used to perpeptuate
homophobia and anti-gay bigotry. It's like
asking the Jews to "work with" the
Nazis. Mr. Weems might as well be
calling me a "faggot" himself.
In most indigenous tribes,
people are comfortable with nudity and children
grow up watching adults copulate. No one
is traumatized by these displays of coitus
because for them it is perfecty NATURAL. For
us it SHOULD be. And why does Weems
just assume that witnessing gay sex is traumatic
for heterosexuals? We see str8 sex in every
R-rated movie; I don't feel traumatized. What's
perverse is the shame and guilt we've attached
to one of God's greatest gifts to humanity--our
sexuality.
There are so many
things going on in this world that are so much
more obscene than people making love in public. I'm
sorry if naked butts at the Gay Pride Parade
are offensive to heterosexuals. But why
is Mickey "Reems" so eager for their
approval in the first place? In parks in New
Jersey the undecover police pose as homosexuals
to entrap people like Mr. Weems who would never
expose themselves with other others around who
might be offended. Are these the "potential
allies" he's so eager to please? I'd
be happy to cover my asscheeks if they would
stop killing children for oil.
Weems masturbated
in a public rest area but considers himself morally
superior because he displayed the "appropriate" level
of shame and guilt while the revelers at Southern
Decadence don't feel THEY have anything
to be ashamed about. And HE calls THEM
tacky! Mr. Weems seems deeply conflicted
about his sexual impulses. Why did you resort
to publishing this crap?
Sincerely, Dean Johnson
Special thanks to editor Tray Butler for giving
us permission to reprint this material. You
can read more about the New York Blade or respond
to Mickey Weems at www.nyblade.com. You
can respond to dean johnson through www.velvetmafiatheband.com. Or
you can ignore this completely and focus on
something relevant.